TO my dear SIX YEARS FRIENDSHIP buddies (i guess you know who you are)
Well,i hope it is not too late for me to say some words to all of you...
Recently, i have encountered some problems and i was really flooded with disappointment,sorrows and sadness...
i felt hopeless and life is just so meaningless.I was really very down during that period.I was like living in the doom hell and i do now want to face the reality.Life is just so miserable.I am afraid to face the people around me,especially four of you...because i felt like i am a useless person in front of you...Well,i really wanted to share all my problems with you,but it was just too hard for me to do so...as i am ashamed to share my problems with you...Well, i have no idea what i was thinking that time,but i guess that was not the real me...I was really hopeless that time.Everything went wrong and i really could not cope with it...I have tried to reach out,to search for a whole new world,but i just could not do it...I have no hope in doing everything because i think i am a failure...a rubbish...I have tried all out to fix it...nevertheless it was so hard...Frankly, i can tell you, I am really trying very hard to turn over a new leaf.I do not want to become the failure in your eyes.I am really putting my best foot forward...but you just did not realize it...well,maybe you have already lost hope in me far from the beginning ...i guess...because for you,i am just a person who loves to spread your secrets...Frankly,i have tried and tried to change myself...i kept telling myself not to be so inquisitive,not to be so boastful and... not to be the trouble maker in your eyes...Yes, i confess that i did this last time was because i wished to get attention from you...yup,maybe i was just too scared to lose you...because for once and for all,you are so important to me.Maybe you would think that i am just too silly and fake...So,i decided to change myself...and it was such a coincidence when something terrible has finally entered my life...And then,from there i started to learn to grow up on MY OWN.Last time, i was so dependent because i have you by my side...Every time i was sad,you have been my shoulder to cry on.But during this period,i guess i have develop to a carefree person.Last time,i used to be very sensitive but now i guess i do not want to have that kind of attitude anymore...I always like to shoot people without thinking,but now i guess do not want that kind of attitude anymore.Last time, i used to spread your secrets...but i guess it's time for me to change this super duper bad attitude...last time i used to be so arrogant,but know i again wish to become a humble man...Last time,i used to talk a lot without listening others problems.I am the one who talks a lot,but i never ever listen to others.I am just too self-centered.I was childish and brainless.I always acted like a child.My every movement was so immature.Now, i have learnt to listen to others opinions.I guess i have already have a change on that.I learnt to become a listener,but not a speaker.
Well, i understand somehow you have already lost hope in me.you are just too disappointed with my behaviour.You hated me,i am very clear about that.You are so sick and so fed up getting along with me...haha,well if i have that kind of friend,i will sure hate her...I guess i donot have much to say,except i just want to apologize with you.Sorry for my bad behaviour all this long.I am glad because no matter how bad i were,you still treated me as friend...and helped me out...If i have a chance,i would love to be your good best friend again.But somehow it is just too late for me to say that...You have given me the most memorable memories in my life...Thank You for the MEMORIES...YOu have taught me a lot of meaningful things,especially the meaning of friendship...That's all i want to convey...Well, i know it is rather impossible for me to be your best friends again...it takes time...Just remember,for once and for all,you are MY VERY BEST FRIEND.(this time i am telling you the truth,the trueand righyt feelings in my heart).I guess i does not belong to the gang now...but i just want you to be happy and contented...that's what i want you to be...
You have made my life interesting and fun
~jessie
~MCR's top fan-Jinrhu
~Kimbum's girlfriend-YI WEn
~bonnie
Thank you for the memories...
